Why not start with a heavy hitter?

I don’t have too much to say regarding the subject, actually. In the Mormon religion, which might be in every religion I’m not sure, you develop a testimony. You get this by reading the scriptures and praying with a sincerer heart. I did that while growing up, except I always had one issue with the church.

The church is all about, multiply and replenish the earth. The woman’s most important role is being a mother. I knew from a young age I didn’t want to get married or have children. This caused my Sunday school teachers to worry about me. Hello, a girl can have other dreams!

This doesn’t mean I was leaving the church, I just had some problems with what t was teaching. Fast forward to my mission. I found “signs” in everything telling me to go, but really I felt pressured to go by my mother who wanted me to have some direction in life. I served 6 months, teaching the gospel, then had a break down, got diagnosed with depression, and left early. I think it was because I never had a testimony. I never really believed what I was teaching.

Fast forward again to having a brother and a friend come out of the closet and deal with their church related problems because the church refuses to let them love who they were born to love. I couldn’t come to grips with a God who would make someone gay and then reject them. So my faith vanished after another meltdown ( I have those sometimes)

Now I believe in nothing. And it feels so good! I never realized how crushing it was to be under the gaze of some all powerful God. Now I am free to live my life and be a good person without expectations or judgement. It was freeing and its been a year since I made that choice and I have never felt better. It works for me, so I’m happy. If religion works for you than more power to ya.


The World Of Me

That,  my friends, is a head shot. Make up, professional photo, with Photoshop to fix any lingering issues.

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This is more normal. No make up, no filter, not even my hair done, and I’m wearing my glasses. This is what I look like on a daily basis unless I decide to dress up for some reason. You also can’t tell in those pictures, because I was skinnier, but I am over weight. Yep, an over weight actress. Ain’t that fun?

This blog is for me to write down my thoughts. This is important to me because even though I am an actress, musical theater to be exact, I am a writer first off. Always have been. I am in the process of finishing a book I’m writing with a goal for that to be done at the end of the year. I have one more year of school left, English with a concentration on creative writing, and I work full time.

My first post should be what is most important to me and that is family. I was adopted when I was just a baby by the best parents in the world. They adopted 8 kids and had 2 of their own. This has resulted in in-laws and 20 nieces and nephews.

This picture is a few years old and missing 5 nieces and nephews, but you get the idea. My family and big and colorful and there is never a dull moment. Being an African American girl raised in this mixed family has given me a unique perspective on life that I hope to share with you.

I grew up Mormon, or LDS, and served about 6 months of a mission in Brooklyn, New York. I am atheist now and couldn’t be happier, though I don’t hate the church I was raised in, so don’t expect me to bash it here. It was because of that church that I got may family and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, even though sometimes we drive each other nuts. All my siblings but one live in Utah, within a 30-40 minute drive. My brother, his wife, and their new baby live in Florida, but we hope to get them back soon. This closeness should lend itself to funny stories and I’ll keep you up to date on.

That’s it. 27, actress/singer/writer, adopted, atheist. Me in a very small nut shell. Let the games begin.