Religion

Why not start with a heavy hitter?

I don’t have too much to say regarding the subject, actually. In the Mormon religion, which might be in every religion I’m not sure, you develop a testimony. You get this by reading the scriptures and praying with a sincerer heart. I did that while growing up, except I always had one issue with the church.


The church is all about, multiply and replenish the earth. The woman’s most important role is being a mother. I knew from a young age I didn’t want to get married or have children. This caused my Sunday school teachers to worry about me. Hello, a girl can have other dreams!

This doesn’t mean I was leaving the church, I just had some problems with what t was teaching. Fast forward to my mission. I found “signs” in everything telling me to go, but really I felt pressured to go by my mother who wanted me to have some direction in life. I served 6 months, teaching the gospel, then had a break down, got diagnosed with depression, and left early. I think it was because I never had a testimony. I never really believed what I was teaching.

Fast forward again to having a brother and a friend come out of the closet and deal with their church related problems because the church refuses to let them love who they were born to love. I couldn’t come to grips with a God who would make someone gay and then reject them. So my faith vanished after another meltdown ( I have those sometimes)

Now I believe in nothing. And it feels so good! I never realized how crushing it was to be under the gaze of some all powerful God. Now I am free to live my life and be a good person without expectations or judgement. It was freeing and its been a year since I made that choice and I have never felt better. It works for me, so I’m happy. If religion works for you than more power to ya.

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