My future seems a little up in the air. I don’t exactly know where I am going, but that doesn’t scare me anymore.
I know my goals, tentatively. I will graduate next Spring. I will finish my book and start to shop around for an agent and publisher. I will lose weight. I will excel at my current job.
My life is plagued by what ifs. What if I decided I wanted acting to be my main thing? Could I become a Hale regular, which was one of my goals in the past? What if I meet a nice guy and I decide that marriage is for me? What if I decided I wanted kids?
I can’t close myself off to the possibilities before me. Yes, I have planned my life around being single, but I do have to be open to that changing. Yes, I have chosen to focus on writing more than acting, but I am an audition addict so I don’t know how that will turn out. Having kids and being a mother might be scary, but who know what kind of mother I would be?
I cannot dwell on the What Ifs of the world. I have to just live my life, and take things as they come at me. It is nice to have goals, but you have to be flexible as well. You have to be open to the possibilities that present themselves or you will be torn apart by the What ifs.
All I can say right now is that I am happy with who I am. I am happy with what I think my future holds. And I’ll learn to be happy with whatever changes approach.